ENGLAND v DENMARK

Wednesday 7th July 2021

8pm kick off

Wembley Stadium

England 2 Denmark 1

I wasn't much looking forward to stewarding this game. The England fans have been by far the worst fans during this tournament. I thought well, if I think about this as an adventure then this one could be quite fun. 

I was a bit sick of the anaemic sandwiches that Wembley give the stewards so I ate a big pizza at home so I'd be okay for the day. The sign in was 2pm and the England fans were already on Wembley Way doing their drunken chants. After signing in in the bleak wind tunnel I just took a packet of crisps. They always have cheap sandwiches but posh crisps. I took sweet chilli flavour. As I was trying to put my wrist bands on I could hear that the ranting lesbian was there. She's always shouting about how hard done by she is in some way or another. She's the kind of lesbian you'd meet in Holloway. She's only short so perhaps that's why she shouts so much. I quickly made my way up the many steps to the next sign in as I needed to get away from her voice.

The queue at the top to sign into the stadium was very long and not moving. Soon enough the ranting lesbian was only one person behind me. I don't hate her too much. She was saying how crap the sandwiches are and the shy Asian girl behind me suggested putting the crisps in the sandwiches to make them more interesting. The ranting lesbian didn't think much of that idea and soon turned the subject to how she could eat sweets because her girlfriend was away so she'd bought loads of sweets with her. I noticed the girl that I met on the first day of the tournament turn up. The one that seems to always be having a nervous breakdown over nothing. I think they employ her as some kind of equal opportunities thing. You can tell that she's very posh and very intelligent in perhaps a genius type way. I was trying to get some kind of background on her when she used my lift once but she just closed up and got in the lift. You can't ask her simple questions or talk to her. She just doesn't connect. She's on another team that does the escalators. I bet they've put her in a position where she doesn't have to come across many people. Like on a random escalator that no one uses. Cushy number. 

You have to pass five sets of scanning and security before you can go to your post. I was on the fifth floor again. Right at the top. They've put me up there for every game apart from England v Croatia. That was the first Wembley game. I walked up the escalators quickly so I could join the hi-vis pick up queue but that was a long queue too and soon the nervous breakdown girl and ranting lesbian were behind me. It was alright though, this queue went down fast and I was soon sitting at the top of the empty bowl eating my crisps. I always enjoy this part. I like watching the prepping of the stadium and the practising of the presenter. More and more stewards joined area 501-507. Those were the bays we were to be positioned at. We always wait in the bowl for about an hour before being given our positions. 

Daniel was my supervisor again today. He'd been my supervisor for the Italy v Spain game the previous day. He's a nice lad and I was thankful that he was again my supervisor. I think he might be studying or something. He's a young man of around 23 and articulate. I'd like to know his back story.

Daniel knew I was a good steward from the previous day where I was watching the Spanish and Italian fans on a bay and walking up and down the steps and checking tickets. I was rubbish at working out where people were sitting as numbers have always caused me great confusion. It was quicker to let the fans work it out for themselves as I kept sending them to the wrong places and there are a lot of steps if I point right and really it's left or down and it's really up. Anyway Daniel didn't see all the great confusion I'd caused the previous day so he asked me if I'd prefer to be on a bay like that again or in a more secluded place. I opted for a more secluded place. The Italian and Spanish fans were very understanding but the England fans I would expect not so much. He then took me to the biggest bar in Wembley Stadium. He said "All you've got to do is stand in the middle and just watch out for anyone smoking or anyone fighting and then just ring on the yellow telephone if anything kicks off." Now this was my ideal place! I couldn't believe how my luck was in. This was even better than the lift! No checking tickets, no telling people not to drink, no arguing about all the different rules. Just standing in a massive bar full of drunken England fans. I was fine with that. Pubs and bars are my usual environs as we know all too well.

After a while an Asian boy was sent to join me. He was a spare and I guess Daniel thought I could do with some back up as it was the biggest bar in the stadium and I'd walked past it before so I was familiar with how busy it gets before the match and at half time. He was a nice boy called Nazim. We got talking. I told him I'd lived in London since 2002. He told me he was born in 2003. I always forget I'm older nowadays. I never feel old though so it does make me laugh. He told me he thought I looked about thirty. I was happy with that. It seems to be a thing at every match we try and guess our co stewards age. 

Eventually the fans started to arrive. They seemed very sober and subdued. I wasn't expecting that. The atmosphere seemed very different from previous games. I then realised it was because they were nervous about this game. I always forget about the fixtures and football side to the Euros. I always forget how important it is to these people. I don't know what's important to me in the same way. I've never really been a fan of anything apart from E.T. so I can't really relate to a game or even a pop group. 

Nazim was summoned by Daniel after about twenty minutes in the bar to another job in the stadium. I didn't know what or where as Daniel just came and took him away. I didn't mind being in the bar with all the anxious England fans sipping their £6.90 paper cups of Heineken. 

After a few minutes of Nazim being sent away another young Asian steward came to join me. His name was Farhan. He told me that he'd asked to be moved because as a Muslim he's not allowed to be near or touch alcohol. He told me that even if his shoes touch alcohol then that would be a sin and that he would not be able to pray. He told me that he needs to pray four times a day and that he was due to go off and pray. Now the position he was in was manning a fire escape in the corridor where all the England fans were singing and spilling their drinks. The fans always tend to do their singing and chanting in the corridors instead of the bar for some reason. Farhan was only about 18. I felt a bit sorry for him. There was no way he was getting out of this stadium without alcohol on his shoes. He told me he was watching where he was walking and stepping over spilt beer. As no alcohol is allowed in the stands I told him he should really be put in there. It was getting busier now as the sea of fans descended down Wembley Way and up the steps into the stadium. The corridors were full of spilt Heineken. The anxious fans I first encountered were soon turning into the England fans I'm familiar with, downing pint after pint and trying to get enough in before kick off. It was only 6pm. Farhan told me how he needed to go and pray but couldn't step on the alcohol. Bloodyhell I thought. What was he expecting? Obviously not this. I went to get a supervisor so that he could be moved but I couldn't find one. He then said he'd walk through the stands and find one and ask to be moved. They weren't going to refuse him on religious grounds so off he went and I didn't see him after that. 

I didn't mind being alone again stewarding my massive bar full of now drunken singing England fans. I thought it was all quite exciting and plus I didn't have to talk to anyone. Nothing of note happened in the two hours before kick off. Just the relentless singing of "Three Lions" and that's been the most annoying part of stewarding these games but even that's stopped being annoying now. It's become like a Hare Krishna chant or a recitation of The Rosary to me. Only the English could write a song about their football team losing. 

I briefly chatted to a man from Oldham who was after purchasing a program. I like it when that happens. No one spoke to me in the bar. I was quite happy. There was no trouble and soon it was kick off and they were gone and all was quiet again. 

I went over to look at the lovely view of Wembley Way. The light was looking prefect and I could tell it would be a wonderful sunset. Just me and the debris of hundreds of paper Heineken cups and a sea of spilt drinks. No bother for me here. No telling drunks what to do. It was very peaceful and then I heard a thunderous noise but not the usual celebratory one and I at once knew what had happened. Denmark had scored. Oh dear. This was not boding well for my peace. I got back to my post in the middle of the bar and a man came running in, yelping like some wounded animal. Some other men came in looking tearful. It was only the thirtieth minute. Before long they'd composed themselves and got back to their seats and I was alone again. 

Nine minutes later I could hear the kind of roar I was waiting for. I spent the nine minutes before the equaliser worried about the domestic violence rate soaring. Soon it was half time and the jubilant fans came to down as many pints as they could in fifteen minutes.  A lot of the fans spend half time queuing for their £6.90 pints, leave them untouched and go back in. This half time was very loud. A man started to bang his fist on the ice cooler on the bar and start a chant. Another man started to do the same with the shutters of a closed up corner bar. I went over and told them to stop it and so they did. The authority of a hi-vis eh? A posh woman in her late 60's walked towards me and said, "Why do you do a job like this? This is terrible!" I told her that I enjoy a challenge but she'd already walked away. I guess like Farhan, it wasn't what she was expecting either.

The fans were soon all back in and peace and my perfect view of Wembley Way and the sunset were restored. Nothing much happened after that. They close the bars after half time and I was thankful for that. No one could bother me now. The match seemed to go on for ages.  I suppose it did go into extra time but I was enjoying myself. Daniel even sent someone to replace me so I could take a fifteen minute break. This post was so good that you even get a break! Wow! I did need to sit down so I went to the stinking staff room with the overflowing bins and mould on the walls in bay 514 to sit down. I was able to check my phone for the first time. If you're caught checking your phone whilst stewarding then sometimes you're sacked straightaway. The fifteen minutes went by in a flash but I was glad to be out of that depressing room and back in my spacious bar. 

I really didn't want it to go into penalties as I couldn't work out anyway I could get home if the tubes stopped. The match finished late the previous night and a lot of the stewards had to get taxis which the agency won't pay for. I was happy when I heard the last roar. I was standing in my bar and it started to shake. The whole stadium shakes when they go mad. It's a lovely thing. It lifts the spirits I'd say. 

So England won and Wembley Way was all full of fireworks and thousands of fans. After clearing the stadium of the 60,000 fans we were sent back in to check all the seats to see whether any were broken. We have to do this after every match. I'm always sent up to the very top. I look down occasionally but not much as I just want to do it as fast as I can and get out. There were quite a few broken ones this time and all those need to be reported. 

Finally there was the debrief. Daniel told us what an excellent job we had all done. Then I heard my name mentioned. He saw me and said "Oh, I was just checking you were here, I thought I'd left you in the bar!" Ha ha. all was well. 

It takes about twenty minutes to get out of the stadium due to handing in the hi-vis and the supervisors have to scan you out twice. Signing out is about as complicated as signing in. It was 11:45pm so I decided that the quickest way to get home would be the overground from Wembley Stadium Station. The thousands were all still celebrating on Wembley Way. Wembley Stadium Station was indeed the quickest way and soon I was home with my cup of tea and leftover pizza and watching the replay on the telly. My attention span didn't last and I soon went to bed. I find football boring.